Doctor Tanya
by You Can Call Me Effie
Summary: Tanya Gonzalez is in a hospital on the moon. Medical school didn't really prepare her for this.
1. Chapter 1

Tanya started, walking out onto the balcony and struggling to not burst into hysterics at the fact that she was still breathing. "I'm all for scenic views, but this is just ridiculous."

She heard a snort and turned to a man standing beside her. She hadn't even noticed him. He spoke, looking at her curiously. "You do realize that you're standing on a hospital balcony on the moon, right?"

Tanya nodded. "As are you. You do realize we should both be dead right now, correct?"

The man nodded.

"But we're not."

"Excellent observation."

Tanya glared slightly. "I'm breathing on the moon with no suit. Forgive me for being a bit slower than usual."

A young woman in a lab coat burst through the doors. "Doctor!" Her eyes darted to Tanya, narrowing slightly. "Who's this then?"

Tanya walked over with her hand outstretched. "Tanya Gonzalez, MD. And you are?"

She shook her hand. "Martha Jones, stu-"

The man, or 'Doctor' interrupted. "We don't have time for this! What did you need, Martha?"

Martha huffed, than remembered what she came for. "Come on! She's assimilating! Or whatever! We need to go!"

The doctor, who's name Tanya still didn't know, turned to her. "You up for a bit of running?"

Tanya tilted her head. "Depends. Are you actually giving me a choice?"

Martha tapped an imaginary watch, looking impatient.

The doctor shrugged. "Nope."

He grabbed her and Martha's hands and ran.

Tanya regretted the decision to wear heels that morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Running away from giant leather Rhino men was not something Tanya had ever thought she'd have to be doing.

Running around with an alien on the moon? Well, she'd hoped, but she didn't expect that to happen either.

Martha was still reeling from the kiss the Doctor had just given her. "That was nothing?"

Tanya grabbed her hand and began looking for the Rhino cops. "I'd assume so, considering he did that to me too. Emergency DNA transfer. We're a distraction."

Martha huffed, running with her. "Yeah, we're the distraction, not some Rhino people trying to kill a vampire."

Tanya almost laughed. "We're not the distraction to him, Martha. At least, not the biggest one."

"Than to what?"

They ran right into a rhino thing. "Scanning result: inconclusive."

Tanya grinned. "To them."

She turned and ran, dragging Martha with her and ignoring the fact that she would definitely have blisters if she made it to tomorrow alive.

Martha began to take deeper breaths. "Dr. Gonzalez, the oxygen is running out!"

Tanya ran faster, toward the MRI room, where the Doctor had told them to go after he'd fried his screwdriver. "Than don't speak, you'll lose too much!"

They burst through the door, bringing in the Rhino cops with them.

Tanya quickly went over to the Doctor's side, trying not to panic while Martha got the Rhinos to scan the vampy bitch.

She began trying to restart his hearts and lowered her head to his ear. "Oi, alien boy? We kind of need you alive, so if you could just spring up like a summer daisy, it's be great."

No response. She rolled her eyes. "If you don't wake up right now, Doctor, than everybody dies."

No reaction.

We're running out of time! Tanya breathed into his mouth and punched him in the hearts.

He jerked up, and she fell back. "WOO! What'd I miss?"

Tanya stayed lying down, rubbing her chest. "You're welcome."

He looked down at her oddly. "Tanya, why are you on the ground?"

She groaned as her vision faded.

Oxygen starvation finally caught up, huh?

She heard Martha's voice. "Doctor! Doctor Gonzalez!"

Her eyes fluttered open. She knew she was in some type of hospital, but it didn't look like any she'd been in. "Where am I? Are we still on the moon?"

The Doctor looked down at her, brandishing a new screwdriver. "Good, you're awake! Say 'Ahhh'."

She did.

He put away the screwdriver. "Good! Everything seems to be in order, vitals are fine, no major trauma to any of your appendages. Good as new, Tanya!"

She stood up from the bed and stretched. "Yeah, that's great and everything, but where am I!"

Martha spoke. "You're in the TARDIS."

Tanya wrinkled her nose. "The what?"

The doctor lead her to the door and into a weird hallway. "The TARDIS, stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space."

Tanya nodded. "Is this the blue box I saw you walk out of this morning with a tie around your head?"

He paused, but then continued walking. "Yep! Any questions? Comments?"

Tanya nodded again as they entered what she was pretty sure was a control room. "Yeah. How'd you fit a different dimension into a wooden box?"

Martha looked at her oddly. "Dimension?"

Tanya shrugged. "It's in the name, innit?"

The doctor walked her straight out the door. "Well, it's been fun and you are fascinating, but we really must be going. Can't have two female companions at a time, always stirs up trouble, you understand right?"

Tanya looked at him in disbelief. "If you're worried I'll fall in love with you, you don't even have a chance at my affections."

He flushed a bit. "Hey, now! Is it the hair? I like the hair!"

Martha was still stuck on the fact that there's been more before.

Tanya rolled her eyes. "No, your hair is lovely. Two problems. One, I am very gay."

He stared at her while Martha suddenly looked flustered. "Oh. Well, what's the second problem?"

Tanya threw her hands up. "You're an alien! Who catches feelings for aliens? Just because you have a nice skin suit or whatever, doesn't mean every female you meet will fall in love with you!"

He pouted a bit.

She raised an eyebrow and then turned and walked off.

He called after her. "Tanya! Where are you going?"

She turned back toward him with her hands on her hips. "You told me I couldn't come!"

"Yes, but that was before!"

"Before you knew I wouldn't fall for you? So you expect me to go with you now that you've changed your mind and suddenly want me around? What if I've changed my mind, huh? What then?"

He leaned against one of the doors and smiled impishly. "Have you?"

Tanya glared some more before she grinned. "Nope."

She ran back into the TARDIS and didn't look back.

In hindsight, she probably should've.


	3. Chapter 3

Tanya reentered the box and looked around in awe. "No, but, genuinely, who built this? It's gorgeous and scientifically impossible."

Martha looked at the Doctor curiously, who shrugged whilst he fiddled with what Tanya assumed was the controls but which really looked like one of those giant test chambers holding people in horror movies.

Only grungier.

The doctor smiled at them. "TARDISes aren't built. They're grown. And aren't aliens also meant to be scientifically impossible?"

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "Oh, as if. Anyone with common sense knows there's no possible way that humans are the only intelligent life forms in the universe. There's probably stuff out there that could squish us out like bugs." She paused. "Like you, actually."

The Doctor scrunched up his face in offense. "Oi, I just saved a hospital on the moon a few hours ago!"

"I'm not saying you would, I'm saying you could."

Martha interjected. "Doctor, how about that trip that you offered me?"

He clapped his hands and spun about the controls. "Right you are, Martha Jones! One thank you trip coming right up. When would you like to go?"

"Future. No! Past. Past."

Tanya raised her hand. "Hey, wait a minute! I helped too!"

The Doctor looked at her contemplatively. "You, Tanya Gonzalez, are absolutely right. You can have next go."

Martha scoffed. "But that means she gets two trips and I only get one!"

He groaned. "I knew this was a bad idea."

Tanya grimaced, backtracking. "'Ey, none of that. We go to the past and we have fun and we don't think about it."

The Doctor jumped up. "Yes, exactly! Let's go to the past and not bicker amongst ourselves, yeah?"

Martha and Tanya grinned. "Yes, sir!"

He pulled a lever with his foot and pushed a button with his hand whilst pulling some kind of pump. "Oh, don't do that. I'm the Doctor, not the General."

Tanya smirked, holding onto the railing as the ship jerked. "I'm a doctor, too, Doctor. You ain't special."

Martha snorted from beside her before covering her mouth at the Doctor's affronted expression. "Whoops."

The ship shook and tilted in the opposite direction as before and Tanya almost slammed into the console, grabbing onto it with one hand and Martha with the other. "Either this ship is broken or you never got your license!"

The Doctor grinned sheepishly. "Where's the fun in knowing what you're doing?"

Martha looked at him incredulously. "That makes me feel the opposite of safe, Doctor."

Tanya nodded. "Seconded."

The TARDIS jerked to a halt and they all smiled. Tanya gestured for Martha to do the honors.

Martha bounced out and looked to the Doctor, who nodded, and then she ran to the door and pushed it open. "Where are we? Wait, _when_ are we?"

Tanya and the Doctor followed her, grinning. "Oh, getting used to the lingo already?"

Martha grinned.

Tanya looked around and grabbed one of Martha's arms while the Doctor grabbed the other, pulling her out of the path of the contents of a chamber pot. "Watch out."

Martha grimaced and stepped around the fallen sewage. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Martha suddenly turned to the Doctor in alarm. "Wait, is it safe for us to be here?"

The Doctor glanced at her. "Hm? Course. Why wouldn't it be?"

Martha exchanged a look with Tanya. "We're not exactly white, Doctor."

Tanya piped up. "Also, we're women wearing pants."

Martha looked even more panicked than before.

The Doctor smiled reassuringly. "You're fine, both of you. All you need to do is walk like you belong here."

Martha nodded and seemed to calm down a bit.

Tanya looked him up and down. "Is that how you get away with wearing sneakers before toilets were invented?"

Martha stifled a laugh.

The Doctor looked affronted. "One more crack like that, young lady, and you won't get to see the play."

Martha and Tanya exchanged a glance. "What play?"

The Doctor nodded in front of them and they finally saw their destination.

The Globe Theater.

Tanya felt herself Cheshire grin. "No—"

Martha joined her, staring at the theater in awe. "Bleedin'—"

The Doctor smiled smugly from beside them. "Way."

Tanya let out an elated shriek before she could stop herself, gaining the concerned look of a passing man.

The Doctor waved him off. "She's excitable."

The man leered. "I bet she is."

Tanya rolled her eyes, some of her happiness dampened. "Suck my dick, good sir."

Martha started cackling and the man choked on air as the Doctor hurried the girls away, the man seeming to forget that they were there in the first place the farther they went.

The Doctor tried to look at the two girls disapprovingly, though his lips kept twitching. "Tanya, was that really necessary?"

Tanya nodded. "Yes."

The Doctor stared at her some more before chuckling. "That settles that, I suppose."

Martha was bent at the waist. "His— _face_ —!"

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, it was rather unpleasant, wasn't it?"

Tanya smirked bitterly. "Apparently, men are the same in any century."

"Oi!"

"Oh, you don't count, Alien Boy."

The Doctor didn't know whether to take this as a compliment or not.

Martha finally calmed down and saw the theater again. She smiled coyly. "Doctor Smith?"

"Martha Jones?"

She smiled. "Doctor Gonzalez?"

"Martha Jones?"

Martha offered both of them her arms. "Would you like to see a play with me?"

Tanya linked their arms immediately. "It would be my pleasure."

The Doctor followed suit, pouting slightly. "I was gonna ask first."

Martha patted his hand. "You'll live."

The trio tried not to run to the theater.


End file.
